throtteen | through a glass, darkly {closed to notyourgerbil}

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through a glass, darkly {closed to notyourgerbil}

[Four weeks have passed; leisurely, pleasantly, wonderfully passed. Nights filled with moans, sighs, gasps, and lips; days filled with laughs, sighs, smiles, and caresses. Sharon can't imagine being happier than right now and right here as Steve's wife in the White House. The meeting with the British Prime Minister goes smoothly, and Sharon is there by Steve's side as she meets him with a wide grin. The charity dinner for the Veterans of Foreign Wars goes off without a hitch, and Steve is there by her side as Sharon basks in the glory. Waking up in the morning in his arms with soft words of love and endearments, gently drifting to sleep with him still in her, soft touches when no one's looking, stolen kisses behind the rose bushes; you make her feel like a schoolgirl, Steve.

Things are perfect.

Amidst cries of protest and confusion, Sharon enters the Oval Office, a mob of flustered aides and assistants behind her suddenly quieting at the sight of President Steve Rogers with some members of his cabinet.]

I need to talk to you. [Arms at akimbo, jaw clenched, eyes cold and hard, and voice rigid, she's either unaware of the meeting or she doesn't care. Survey says, it's the latter; Sharon's so blind with rage and her brain filled to the brim with anger that she just doesn't care.]

Now.

*

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Oooh, ma'am... that does wonderfully bad things to me. [Straightening out the white scarf, she holds her hand out and cocks a brow.] May I please have your hand, Mr. President?

Yeah. [A smirk.] Thought it might. [And then he held out his hands, both of them, because she'd just confirmed what she was going to do. And he was getting very excited at the mere thought of it.]

Edited 2012-10-27 04:09 (UTC)

[Sharon's mouth slides into slight smirk, noticing his hardness straining through his trousers. Taking his left hand;] á mon cher et affectueux mari [To My Dear and Loving Husband. She gently kisses his wrist, feeling his beating pulse beneath her lips.]

Si toujours deux étaient un, puis sûrement nous./Si jamais l'homme étaient lov'd par l'épouse, puis thee; [If ever two were one, then surely we./If ever man were lov'd by wife, then thee. Places his hand to the bedpost, then quickly ties him to it with the white scarf; tight enough that he couldn't slip out of it, yet loose enough that it was comfortable. She bends over his face, her breath hot against his left cheek and the French lilting in her low and soft voice;] Si jamais l'épouse était heureuse chez un homme, [If ever wife was happy in a man, Her lips brushes his cheek.] Comparer à moi les femmes de ye si vous pouvez. [Compare with me, ye women, if you can. She moves to the right side, the red tie taut in her hands.]

Ou toutes les richesses que le Moyen-doth détiennent./Ou toute richesse qui la prise est de doth. [I prize thy love more than whole Mines of gold/Or all the riches that the East doth hold. Taking his right hand, she presses her lips to his wrist, then does the same with the red tie.] Mon amour est tel que les fleuves ne peuvent pas éteindre,/Ni ne doit, mais l'amour de te donner une récompense. [My love is such that Rivers cannot quench,/Nor ought but love from thee give recompetence. Face bent over his face, brushing her lips against his cheek.]

L'amour de Thy est tel que je ne mets en boîte aucune manière rembourse,/La tubulure de thee de récompense de cieux que je prie. [Thy love is such I can no way repay./The heavens reward thee manifold, I pray. Sharon straddles him, bowing down to kiss him, lingeringly and deeply. She pulls away, her lips still on his as she finishes the poem.]

Alors tandis que nous vivons, dans l'amour let ainsi le persever,/Que quand nous ne vivons pas plus, nous pouvons vivre jamais. [Then while we live, in love let's so persever/That when we live no more, we may live ever.]

[He took in her words, and the sight of her tying him up (and the little bit of clothing she was wearing), but the things she said; his French was a bit rusty but he still understood every word.

He thought then just how much she had come to mean to him, espeically as she straddled him and he returned her kiss. Normally he would've put his arms around her, but he wasn't able to at the moment. Not that he was complaining, of course.]

Beautiful. [He answered back, also in French, his lips still very close to hers.] I love you.

Je t'aime trop. [I love you too. Lifting her head a bit, she glances down at the bulge in his trousers, her hand already moving down to cup him through the fabric.]

Would you like to hear how much I love you in other languages? [Sharon always loved foreplay more than the actual act itself. Even though she loves Steve and, boy, the sex is amazing, fantastically amazing... it's always too short for her. No, no, that's why she likes tying Steve up; she can go at her own pace, she can control it, and it prevents him from doing anything that shortens it and makes her literally pounce on him. She prefers a slow, lingering burn rather than a sudden, short, big explosion.]

Edited 2012-10-27 22:22 (UTC)

[He groaned softly when she touched him, his cock only getting harder beneath the fabric. There was something so good about just laying here and letting her have complete control.]

God, yes... [There's a desire in his voice and his eyes as he looks at her.]

Then I shall begin with the mother language. [She moves until her lips are at his ear and her palm is turned flat against his cock, rubbing slowly and in a circular motion.]

Amasiuncula. [Darling; latin.] Sono pazzo di te. [I'm crazy about you; italian.] Tú eres mi vida. [You are my life; spanish.] VsyO, chto mne Uzhno - Eto tvouA lyubOv' [All I need is your love; russian.] Ani l'Dodi v'Dodi li. [I am my Beloved's and my Beloved is mine; hebrew.] Wo ai ni. [I love you; mandarin. Her teeth tugs at his earlobe, the hand at his cock moving faster.] I will love you no matter what.

[He gasped at what her hand was doing, loving the way she spoke to him in all those languages; the words sounded beautiful on her lips, even if he didn't know what all of it meant, he could guess. And since she was so close now, he took the time to press his lips against her jaw. Much as he enjoyed being tied up, the downside was that he couldn't touch her.

And then she said it; I will love you no matter what and suddenly he frowned for a moment, though she couldn't see it. Because he knew it wasn't true; she only loved him because he'd made her....

No, no, he'd done it for her, he told himself, before forcing his mind to stop thinking about it, to focus on what she was doing. But he'd stopped kissing her jaw.]

[She may not have seen the frown, but she could sense something change in the air. When you've been with someone as long as she has, gone through things no one should, you know them better than you know yourself. Her hand stills, then moves up to gently caress his face. Worry, concern, and a frown creases her face, thick in her voice. Did she say something? Do something?] Darling?... are you alright?

[Oh... Damnit. Why did he have to think about what she'd said, why couldn't he just lay back and enjoy it? And he couldn't quite keep the sadness from his face now, either. Why was it that no one ever loved him for who he was, and he had to resort to this? Why did no one ever... And then there was the nagging guilt, too; how could he do this to someone he loved?

Did he love her? He didn't even really know yet, but still...

He put on a fake smile, albeit a weak one.] Yeah... I'm alright. Sorry. [A pause.] Hey, could you untie me, sorry to ruin everything but... think I'd just like to hold you for a little while.

[He didn't know what else to say, because he couldn't tell her the truth. He could talk to her about anything else, but not this. And just when he really needed someone to talk to...]

Okay, alright. [Her voice is soft, timid, and unsure; words never used to describe Sharon Carter-Rogers. She reaches over and undoes his restraints, the silence thick. Once she's done, she looks away, trying to put as much distance between them as she could. It seems like he wants to be left alone, and she can't help but feel that she said something that made him like this.]

I'm... sorry, Steve. I'm so sorry for -- whatever I did.

[Oh, god... no. No, no, no. He looks at her with eyes full of guilt and sadness as she silently undoes the restraints. And then when she speaks it only becomes that much worse; why did he have to let it get to him? Damnit...

His arms encircle her and he pulls her close, a certainty in his voice:] No! It's not your fault. I'm sorry, just... it's something else. [He shook his head.] It doesn't matter. [He held her for a moment, then:] I love you. I'll always love you, no matter what.

[And that time, he realized, he actually means it. And it hurts.]

[Lightly sighing, she rests her cheek on his chest, an arm lazily draped him. His words don't comfort her; instead they worry her even more. If he thinks he can't talk to her about it, then something's wrong. Either she's done something to make him think she won't understand, or she can't know whatever it is. If this kind of distress comes with the job, she doesn't want him to be the president. Sharon doesn't want to raise their child alone.]

It matters, Steve. It matters to me. Whatever it is, talk to me. [She looks up at him, her brows tugging together from concern.]

Has the reality of my pregnancy finally hit you? You're not going to hurt me. I'm fine. I'm closely monitored by the doctor; I'll be okay.

Edited 2012-10-28 17:19 (UTC)

[He kissed her hair, so glad she'd just given him an out. Because, sadly, there was no way he could do anything about this. He couldn't change her back; she'd hate him, just like she did before, and she'd be miserable again. And the baby...

No, it was better this way, she was happy, even if it was a lie, even if he shouldn't be doing this to someone he loved. At least she was happy. And she didn't hate him.]

Yeah... sometimes I forget how well you know me. I am kinda stronger than you are, I don't wanna hurt you, or the baby. I'm just so glad we're gonna start a family. [He kissed her cheek then.] Liked all those things you said, though, it was nice.

[Sharon lets out a sigh in relief, though she still has a touch of uneasiness planted in the back of her head. It's like he wasn't telling her the whole truth, but Sharon of all people knows that, sometimes, one has to deal with their problems alone. If Steve wanted to solve his problems on his own, she will allow him that; she doesn't want to push him into anything he doesn't want to do.] You're not going to, Steve. You of all people should know how strong and durable my body is.

And the doctor, she's, uh... she's more concerned about the baby. She's not sure if and to what degree the serum will affect him.

[He stroked her hair gently, trying to get lost again in the fantasy he'd created. Maybe later he would take a walk and clear his head.]

Yeah, I sure do. [A smirk.] Just figured it might be better to be careful... but I'll trust you. Like always.

I'm sure he'll be strong because of it, and because he's got you as a-- [he stopped, giving her a look then as his hand went down to rest on her stomach.] Wait, him? You can't know if it's a boy or girl yet, can you?

[She laughs, her hand moving down to rest atop of his.] I won't know for another fourteen weeks, minimum. I was just using "him" in a general sense. Although, I should be saying "her" cos my legs were up during the conception, I'd eaten red meat prior to it, and it was later in my ovulation cycle.

[He laughed.] Guess we'll find out. I'd be happy with either. [He glanced up at their dinner.] Maybe we should eat. Promise you can finish what you started with me later.

Yes, it doesn't matter how this baby looks or acts like when she comes out. We'll have as much love for him or her as we do for each other. [She kisses his cheek, her face closed to his when he mentions dinner. Her nose wrinkles in response.] I'm not really in a 'meat and potato' kind of mood anymore. I'm in more of a, mm, ice cream kind of mood.

[A bright spark enters her eyes when he mentions that.] I plan to hold you to that promise.

Edited 2012-10-30 03:28 (UTC)

[He smirked at her words.] Ice cream, huh? You want me to get you some? [he meant it, too. He wouldn't mind going to the kitchen and raiding the fridge, because he wanted to think about everything... even if only for a few minutes.]

Maybe when I come back, you could hold me to that promise then.

Yes please. [She kisses his cheek again, lips moving along his jaw.] Incidentally, a reason I hate having all this secret service and security around is that I can't walk, naked, to get some ice cream from the kitchen.

[Smirking, Sharon brushes her hand against his cheek.] Maybe. Ice cream first, though. And make sure it's the kind I regret eating it tomorrow. You know how I can resist anything but temptation.

Edited 2012-11-03 04:39 (UTC)

Would love to do something about that, and you know it. Just so you can do that. [He gave her a kiss before he got up, turning to her.]

Yeah, one of the things I love about you. [And with that, he left the room, moving through the empty, quiet halls toward the kitchen.

He couldn't believe he was thinking this, but it felt good to be away from her for the moment.

I will love you no matter what. Why did she have to say that? It wasn't even true. None of it was true, and he didn't think he'd ever felt so guilty about anything before. Or so hurt, apart from Peggy's rejection of him.

And yet he knew the answer to his question; she'd said it because he created the lie, because Faustus had done a masterful job at it. And for as long as she was under its thrall, she really would love him no matter what.

Except he had to brainwash her to get even that, because no one ever saw things his way. No one he loved anyway.

And just thinking about that made him feel that familiar bitterness in the pit of his stomach. And though it mingled with his guilt, he had to tell himself all over again what would happen if he undid the brainwashing. She'd be furious, she'd hate him, and she might do something to get rid of the baby.

The baby... Even if he lost her; he'd still have a child. And he wasn't gonna let Sharon take that away from him. Besides, she was happy. As long as he kept telling himself that, it would carry him through. He'd stop feeling guilty eventually.

She was happy and she loved him. What difference did it make if it was a lie? None, right? ... Right?

He returned a little while later with the ice cream, and hoped he hadn't taken too long to thing everything over. Even though it was a lie, he resolved he'd do his best to make her happy from now on. Because he really would love her no matter what.]

And it's one of the things I love about you! [She shouts after him as he left; she wasn't sure what exactly she was talking about, but she meant every word. Sharon remains in bed, still, for a few moments, hands slowly moving around her stomach like a gypsy with a crystal ball, almost in a trance.

She's going to have Steve's child. Sharon is going to be the mother of Steve's child, and she is scared. Now that the joy and excitement of the news have subsided, nervousness and fear has replaced it. Their child might be sickly and weak or powerful and strong from the serum; or they might be deformed from it. It made her stomach churn as she tears her hands away from her stomach, moving down to grab Steve's shirt from the floor and slip into it. Fastening up the buttons then rolling up and pushing the sleeves up, she turns the TV on, intent on finding something that'll take her mind off the scary possibilities. She's flipping through the channels when Steve comes back, pillows propped up at the head of the bed, a bare leg hanging off the bed. She smiles and holds her hand out for the carton of ice cream and spoon.] Hey you. What took you so long? I thought I'd have to find and save you.

Edited 2012-11-06 01:01 (UTC)

[Her smile makes him feel better; even if it's a lie, if he can make her smile like that all the time, if he can make her happy, then it's not so bad.

He grinned, crossing the room and handing her the ice cream.] Hey, maybe I would've liked that.

But you said to find something you'd regret; had to sample all the different kinds. Who knew we had such a nice ice cream collection? [Fetching his plate from the table, he climbed into bed beside her. He would eat it there, even if it was a little cold.] Hope you'll let me steal some of that later.

[She takes the ice cream, practically ripping the lid off the chocolate fudge, peanut, waffle cone ice cream then digging her spoon into the frozen dessert until she had gotten a fair amount on it.] Oh yeah. Cos you know how much I love saving your ass.

[A mouthful of ice cream;] Wef, yeah. Thif if... [Mouth clear of ice cream;] The White House after all. [Sharon barely spares Steve a glance, only a slight smile, before her spoon's in the ice cream again, rooting around for the chocolaty peanuts.] Tsk, only if you want to lose a finger.

Edited 2012-11-07 00:55 (UTC)

through a glass, darkly {closed to notyourgerbil}

yeah, whateves.

awwh, but.. but... sobs

no fucks given.

Awwh! /refuses to use google translate for hers, though.

aw, c'mon; "belle" & "je t'aime".

lol, but.. my French is non-existent...

so's mine. but i shall make do.

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