through a glass, darkly {closed to notyourgerbil}

[throtteen]

[Four weeks have passed; leisurely, pleasantly, wonderfully passed. Nights filled with moans, sighs, gasps, and lips; days filled with laughs, sighs, smiles, and caresses. Sharon can't imagine being happier than right now and right here as Steve's wife in the White House. The meeting with the British Prime Minister goes smoothly, and Sharon is there by Steve's side as she meets him with a wide grin. The charity dinner for the Veterans of Foreign Wars goes off without a hitch, and Steve is there by her side as Sharon basks in the glory. Waking up in the morning in his arms with soft words of love and endearments, gently drifting to sleep with him still in her, soft touches when no one's looking, stolen kisses behind the rose bushes; you make her feel like a schoolgirl, Steve.

Things are perfect.

Amidst cries of protest and confusion, Sharon enters the Oval Office, a mob of flustered aides and assistants behind her suddenly quieting at the sight of President Steve Rogers with some members of his cabinet.]

I need to talk to you. [Arms at akimbo, jaw clenched, eyes cold and hard, and voice rigid, she's either unaware of the meeting or she doesn't care. Survey says, it's the latter; Sharon's so blind with rage and her brain filled to the brim with anger that she just doesn't care.]

Now.

*

Comments

[throtteen]

[Sharon lets out a sigh in relief, though she still has a touch of uneasiness planted in the back of her head. It's like he wasn't telling her the whole truth, but Sharon of all people knows that, sometimes, one has to deal with their problems alone. If Steve wanted to solve his problems on his own, she will allow him that; she doesn't want to push him into anything he doesn't want to do.] You're not going to, Steve. You of all people should know how strong and durable my body is.

And the doctor, she's, uh... she's more concerned about the baby. She's not sure if and to what degree the serum will affect him.

[notyourgerbil]

[He stroked her hair gently, trying to get lost again in the fantasy he'd created. Maybe later he would take a walk and clear his head.]

Yeah, I sure do. [A smirk.] Just figured it might be better to be careful... but I'll trust you. Like always.

I'm sure he'll be strong because of it, and because he's got you as a-- [he stopped, giving her a look then as his hand went down to rest on her stomach.] Wait, him? You can't know if it's a boy or girl yet, can you?

[throtteen]

[She laughs, her hand moving down to rest atop of his.] I won't know for another fourteen weeks, minimum. I was just using "him" in a general sense. Although, I should be saying "her" cos my legs were up during the conception, I'd eaten red meat prior to it, and it was later in my ovulation cycle.

[notyourgerbil]

[He laughed.] Guess we'll find out. I'd be happy with either. [He glanced up at their dinner.] Maybe we should eat. Promise you can finish what you started with me later.

[throtteen]

Yes, it doesn't matter how this baby looks or acts like when she comes out. We'll have as much love for him or her as we do for each other. [She kisses his cheek, her face closed to his when he mentions dinner. Her nose wrinkles in response.] I'm not really in a 'meat and potato' kind of mood anymore. I'm in more of a, mm, ice cream kind of mood.

[A bright spark enters her eyes when he mentions that.] I plan to hold you to that promise.

[notyourgerbil]

[He smirked at her words.] Ice cream, huh? You want me to get you some? [he meant it, too. He wouldn't mind going to the kitchen and raiding the fridge, because he wanted to think about everything... even if only for a few minutes.]

Maybe when I come back, you could hold me to that promise then.

[throtteen]

Yes please. [She kisses his cheek again, lips moving along his jaw.] Incidentally, a reason I hate having all this secret service and security around is that I can't walk, naked, to get some ice cream from the kitchen.

[Smirking, Sharon brushes her hand against his cheek.] Maybe. Ice cream first, though. And make sure it's the kind I regret eating it tomorrow. You know how I can resist anything but temptation.

[notyourgerbil]

Would love to do something about that, and you know it. Just so you can do that. [He gave her a kiss before he got up, turning to her.]

Yeah, one of the things I love about you. [And with that, he left the room, moving through the empty, quiet halls toward the kitchen.

He couldn't believe he was thinking this, but it felt good to be away from her for the moment.

I will love you no matter what. Why did she have to say that? It wasn't even true. None of it was true, and he didn't think he'd ever felt so guilty about anything before. Or so hurt, apart from Peggy's rejection of him.

And yet he knew the answer to his question; she'd said it because he created the lie, because Faustus had done a masterful job at it. And for as long as she was under its thrall, she really would love him no matter what.

Except he had to brainwash her to get even that, because no one ever saw things his way. No one he loved anyway.

And just thinking about that made him feel that familiar bitterness in the pit of his stomach. And though it mingled with his guilt, he had to tell himself all over again what would happen if he undid the brainwashing. She'd be furious, she'd hate him, and she might do something to get rid of the baby.

The baby... Even if he lost her; he'd still have a child. And he wasn't gonna let Sharon take that away from him. Besides, she was happy. As long as he kept telling himself that, it would carry him through. He'd stop feeling guilty eventually.

She was happy and she loved him. What difference did it make if it was a lie? None, right? ... Right?

He returned a little while later with the ice cream, and hoped he hadn't taken too long to thing everything over. Even though it was a lie, he resolved he'd do his best to make her happy from now on. Because he really would love her no matter what.]

[throtteen]

And it's one of the things I love about you! [She shouts after him as he left; she wasn't sure what exactly she was talking about, but she meant every word. Sharon remains in bed, still, for a few moments, hands slowly moving around her stomach like a gypsy with a crystal ball, almost in a trance.

She's going to have Steve's child. Sharon is going to be the mother of Steve's child, and she is scared. Now that the joy and excitement of the news have subsided, nervousness and fear has replaced it. Their child might be sickly and weak or powerful and strong from the serum; or they might be deformed from it. It made her stomach churn as she tears her hands away from her stomach, moving down to grab Steve's shirt from the floor and slip into it. Fastening up the buttons then rolling up and pushing the sleeves up, she turns the TV on, intent on finding something that'll take her mind off the scary possibilities. She's flipping through the channels when Steve comes back, pillows propped up at the head of the bed, a bare leg hanging off the bed. She smiles and holds her hand out for the carton of ice cream and spoon.] Hey you. What took you so long? I thought I'd have to find and save you.

[notyourgerbil]

[Her smile makes him feel better; even if it's a lie, if he can make her smile like that all the time, if he can make her happy, then it's not so bad.

He grinned, crossing the room and handing her the ice cream.] Hey, maybe I would've liked that.

But you said to find something you'd regret; had to sample all the different kinds. Who knew we had such a nice ice cream collection? [Fetching his plate from the table, he climbed into bed beside her. He would eat it there, even if it was a little cold.] Hope you'll let me steal some of that later.

[throtteen]

[She takes the ice cream, practically ripping the lid off the chocolate fudge, peanut, waffle cone ice cream then digging her spoon into the frozen dessert until she had gotten a fair amount on it.] Oh yeah. Cos you know how much I love saving your ass.

[A mouthful of ice cream;] Wef, yeah. Thif if... [Mouth clear of ice cream;] The White House after all. [Sharon barely spares Steve a glance, only a slight smile, before her spoon's in the ice cream again, rooting around for the chocolaty peanuts.] Tsk, only if you want to lose a finger.

[notyourgerbil]

[He watches her.] I don't mind it too much myself, and you're the only person I'd say that about.

[He smiles when she starts talking with her mouth full, then leans a bit closer, as if he's actually going to chance stealing some ice cream.] Really? You haven't forgotten how quick I am, have you?

[throtteen]

[A slight brow raise.] I'm the only person you say a lot of things about.

And have you forgotten how accurate my aim is? [Getting a spoonful of ice cream, Sharon holds it out for him.]

[notyourgerbil]

That's the idea.

[He held up a hand and gently took her wrist, his fingers sliding along her arm, the tips pressing in ever so slightly, ever so intimately before he leaned over and took the spoon in his mouth and the ice cream with it.] Thanks... [It's whispered, when he pulls away.] It's good, but you'll get cold if you eat too much. Probably already have.

And no, haven't forgotten anything. Not planning on killing me with that, are you?

[throtteen]

[Sharon smirks and the brief thought of Steve doing something else with his mouth flashes through her mind. The bite of cold ice cream she takes abates the small, burning desire in her stomach. In her head, though, a plan concerning him forms for the following day.]

Oh? [The carton of ice cream still in her hand, she shifts closer to Steve and presses and fits her body against his like a puzzle piece.] I thought you liked when I'm cold. [She takes his arm and slings it around her shoulders, siphoning his warmth from him.

Spoon digging through the ice cream again, Sharon lightly snorts.]

Perhaps a novice would. I, however, was trained by a master, who taught me to maim rather than kill. [She shoots him a knowing glance, a dark smirk playing on her lips.]

[notyourgerbil]

[He happily moves so he's also fitted against her, his arm around her shoulder before he kisses her hair. He's quite warm and he's all too happy to share that with her.] Yeah, wouldn't want you to get sick, though.

[He returns her smirk; he liked that part of the story he'd fashioned, and he can make himself believe it, too. Plus it means he doesn't have to take any of her abilities from her.] I did, but you'd never do that to me, would you? [There's a mock fear in his voice.]

[throtteen]

You don't need to worry about me so much, Steve. I've lived twenty-[Mumble, mumble.] years perfectly fine. You're a worrier. [Her tone is almost accusatory and a finger is lowly pointed at him.] You'd be worried if there was nothing to worry about.

[Sharon lifts her head up, inching her mouth closer to his, as her voice edges into a low and dangerous tone.] If you keep on about my ice cream, I might have to take this spoon and stab you in the femoral artery.

[notyourgerbil]

[Kissing her hair again, he whispers.] Can't help it, not when you're gonna be the mother of my child. [Slowly his free hand finds it s way to her stomach and he can't help but kiss her when she brings her face close to his; it's soft, a simple peck on the lips, and he's smiling at her.]

Guess I'd better stop then. There something else you'd like me to go on about instead?

[When she looked the way she did--happy and joking--it made it all so much easier.]

[throtteen]

[Smirking, a hand blindly setting the ice cream carton over on the bedside table.] And you're going to be the father of my child. Does that give me permission to nag then? [A hand then moves down to lay atop of his; she smiles.]

How 'bout baby names?

[notyourgerbil]

[He grins.] Guess it does. Might have to reserve the right to change my mind later, though. [His hand taking hers, he gives it a light squeeze.]

Which ones did you have in mind?

[throtteen]

[Her brows raised;] And I don't? I have some objections to that, fyi.

None really in mind, actually. We can do what my parents did, though. If it's a girl, I name her, and if it's a boy, you do. But, please, please, oh please, could his middle name be Cornelius? Like my father's. Please? [Her voice edges into a slight plead.]

suucky tag is suuuucktastic

[notyourgerbil]

Nah, you can have whatever you want. [He kissed her forehead, then gave her a nod. He was already feeling better, with all this talk about children and the future. He still wasn't even sure it had entirely sunk in yet, that he was going to be father. And he tried not to think about the other part, about Sharon and the brainwashing.]

Doesn't sound bad to me.

[throtteen]

[Sharon grins as a bare leg slides over his thigh.] I love you. Have I told you that lately?

[The television humming in fount of them forgotten, she guides his hand from her stomach down to the top of her lace knickers.] Did you have any in mind?

/uses THAT icon again, just for you xD

[notyourgerbil]

[He sucks in a sharp breath at where her leg is, and again when she slides his hand downwards. It's enough, this time, to allow him to shove that nagging feeling of guilt aside, along with the fact that he knows how much he'll hurt her if he makes her stop. And he couldn't do that to her.]

Yeah, but you can say it again. I love you, too. [It's whispered.

His hand slides beneath her panties slowly.] Maybe I've got some, but you're being pretty distracting... [And with that, he kisses her, his fingertips slowly exploring between her legs; he knows her so well now, knows what she likes, what feels good.]

[throtteen]

[She lets out a moan, wrapping her arms around his shoulders and pulling him closer.] Then perhaps I should stop being so. [It felt good that he was back to his old self and that nothing was troubling him anymore.]